Life Circumstance

Often the difficulty for which a person seeks counselling  is because of a specific circumstance they find themselves in.  Sometimes a specific decision seems agonizingly difficult (e.g. “Do I break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend that I have been dating for several years?).  Other times a situation that is difficult is an ongoing challenge (e.g. relating effectively with a difficult boss).

It is often at the point of a significant life transition that an individual can begin to flounder.  The transition is a difficult adjustment, and at times, the very nature of the transition can make the adjustment difficult.  For example, moving to another city can be stressful and lonely, but the friends who have been there to support you in previous difficult times now live in a different city!

Seeing a counselor at the point of a life transition or a difficult circumstance often entails a few sessions to be able to “hear yourself talk out loud”.  A therapist can carefully hear you and help you process the issues and to see them from a fresh perspective.

Transitions and Circumstances of Life can include:

Working through traumatic life events

Our past experiences impact on our current state of functioning in our lives.  Growing up in a home where a parent was alcoholic, abusive, or absent can affect who we are and how we think of ourselves.  Experiences of violation or trauma in whatever form can color the way we view the world and our place in it.  Sexual abuse is a painful but often hidden experience that people long to deal with. Difficult times in relationships, or experiences of failure can continue to echo in our lives long after the experience.  Several therapists have extensive experience at working with survivors of trauma as individuals and with their partners.  At Bergen & Associates Counselling, we are here to assist you in working through these traumatic life events.

    Parenting issues

It seems, at times, that a parent can just “get a handle” on parenting a child, and then the child changes to the next stage, and suddenly nothing you do as a parent seems to be effective.  Watching children struggle with rage, or struggle against the structure of a household is painful for both parent and child.  Looking after the needs of multiple children in a family when they have different personalities and different ways they need pareting is a challenge.  Sometimes a child can be struggling with a life circumstance themselves, like parents who are separating, being bullied at school, or some form of intrusive violence.  Sometimes, as much as a parent might want to connect, the distance between parent and child seems so large, it seems almost impossible to connect.  It can feel like the child is pushing parents away--which often happens at the precise moment that a child is so desperately hoping to be loved. Parents want to love their children effectively so that the child feels the security and comfort that a parent's love provides. Parenting issues can also arise when the family is blended and new rules and understandings need to be negotiated.

    Job Change/Loss/Retirement

A person spends enormous hours of their waking time at work, dedicating energy and passion to the employer.  Western culture often links value and quality of work to one’s own personal value. Often significant relationships are formed with colleagues and staff. When a job suddenly ends, the loss can be devastating for a variety of reasons.

    Grieving of Death of Loved One 

The pain and devastation of a loss of a spouse, child or other close relative is excrutiating. The raw emotions of grief can include sadness, rage, hopelessness.  When the ocean of grief feels as though it is overwhelming, therapy can provide a place to express the emotions and explore the significance of the loss of your loved one.  Grief can be complex and bring on feelings and old memories that catches one by surprise.  There are times when talking to a counsellor can help sort through this pain.

    Significant Loss such as Divorce

Other losses can also be painful and may go unrecognized by others.  Often the support of family and friends through a difficult period of loss is all that is needed to “get through”. However, when grieving feels prolonged or particularly lonely, or when a person feels “stuck” in their grief, a counselor can be a helpful and supportive resource.

    Spiritual crisis

During just about any life experience, a person’s worldview or belief in God can be challenged.  At  Bergen & Associates Counselling, we are sensitive of the impact of spirituality on a person’s soul and are open to exploring that together with you as you talk about your issues.  Please feel comfortable discussing the impact of your faith on the issues you bring to therapy.
There are therapists available to explore the issue you bring to counselling in light of your faith in Jesus Christ and Jesus' presence in your life.  Please mention that you would like to work with a therapist who is a Christian when you call to book an appointment.