Topic: Bergen and Associates Counselling News

I apologize for my lack of recent blog postings...I had some sort of viral bug last week.  Anything that absolutely didn't need to get done...didn't.  I'm back on the mend now...or at least I've decided that is going to be my approach this week.

Here is a picture of an orientation session that Melanie is having with Carolyne, our newest addition to the Bergen & Associates Counselling team.  Melanie, our office manager, works four days per week, allowing her to take her parents to appointments and generally taking care of herself--lunch with friends.  She practices what we preach--self care.  We can all learn something from her. That left us without someone dedicated to answer phones...inquiries about counselling, appointment changes and so forth

We found Carolyne, a Winnipegger at heart who, after meandering with her family to live in various places, has found her way back to Winnipeg.  Carolyne has been with us for just over a month, with a lot of experience working with clients in various government and banking programs.  We are thrilled to have her.  Her last boss is not thrilled that we have her, but I think would be pleased that she has found a place to use her great skills. Carolyne Nickel is working Thursdays with us, and may pick up extra hours from time to time.  In an amazingly short amount of time, she has picked up on all sorts of details to provide our clients with the information they need.

In addition to work at Bergen and Associates Counselling, Carolyne is busy with studies on a part time basis, as well as having an active family.

It's been a little interesting for me to have Carolyne around.  Though she has an extra "e" on the end, our names are pronounced the same...I can't remember ever having worked so closely with someone with the same name.  I'm suspecting there will be the odd confusion as we sort out which Carolyn/e people are looking to speak to.

Welcome, Carolyne!  I trust that your time at Bergen and Associates will be ones in which all involved are richer for the experience.  May it be life-giving for you!

Bergen & Associates Counselling is 10 years old today! Brian, Lynn and Gary surprised us with cake to celebrate.  A day with a Jeanne's cake is a good day! What a fun way to acknowledge the day!

Of course, it looked a lot different 10 years ago than it does today. September 29, 1999, there was one office, which I used only about 2 or 3 hours per week.  The furniture was different, the walls were bland, and I was new to being in private practice.  I was at a life stage where I had little time to let others know what I was doing.  I was working ½ time at Misericordia Health Center while the practice was building and busy in the rest of my life. It was a deliberately slow start.

Over time, my life has changed, and so has the practice.  We now have 4 offices to see clients in 2 different locations, with charmingly designed space designed to feel comfortable, cozy, and safe, yet fresh and light.  There are 7 therapists providing excellent quality therapy to our clients, including an intern in a program that we have had set up for 4 years now.  We have an office manager/intake coordinator who looks after the bookkeeping, administration, and client inquiries and bookings.

Our clients tell us that they are feeling more empowered in their decision making, less anxious, and better able to relate to the important people in their lives.  We work with numerous agencies with our anger management program, helping clients meet their court and employer mandated requirements for beginning to deal with their anger.  Transforming Destructive in Constructive program manages to educate people about their anger, challenge inappropriate behavior, and gently come alongside participants as they deal with some painful parts of themselves that they protect with anger.  The Family Violence Protection Program which facilitates the shelters, second stage housing, and resource centers in the province consult with us about clinical issues.  We provide workshops to them around topics which are of concern.  The work of helping those who struggle with violence in their lives is difficult…we seek to encourage and empower the staff of these programs as they continue to do this challenging work on an ongoing basis.
 

None of this would have been possible without the encouragement and support of our office neighbors at our Pembina Location.  Reimer Advertising is owned by friends of mine…they had an empty office that they let me hang out in the first years.  The rental arrangement allowed me to start a very part time practice. Toni was the receptionist for the other business and took the time away from her other duties to answer my phone when it would ring in those early years.
	Then, over time, as my space needs grew, and technology made their space needs less, Reimer Advertising let me begin to take up more space.  They have been absolutely fantastic to work with, and have, during times which I have had huge demands on me personally, been incredibly compassionate towards me.  They have demonstrated patience and commitment that will always be a lifelong example to me.  Thanx to Gary, Brian, and Lynn. I will always be unspeakably grateful to you for your kindness and support.

In addition to incredible moments of healing and growth with clients, I have other fond memories of this place from the last 10 years.  Here are just a few:

• the “mid-winter summer picnics” that we used to have, when we were so tired of the cold.  We would put out the gingham tablecloth on the floor, put the sound of waves on the beach on the nearest Mac, each bring cucumber sandwiches, devilled eggs, or potato salad, and enjoy the feast.  One year we even had plastic ants, and lit a citronella candle as we sat on the floor in beachwear.
• the celebration of Reimer Advertising’s anniversary where we went to Tavern in the Park and ate in the tower high above the restaurant in Assiniboine Park.  Others who arrived first decided they felt like royalty waving off the balcony as the rest of us came.  The dinner was so much fun up there.
• the Christmas potlucks where all bring an assortment of food native to their Christmas celebrations.  We close the office early on that day and together enjoy some fun and quietness after the rush of the Christmas preparations.  Oh…and then there’s a gift exchange that requires creatively recycyling something from home…the rules of the game are something that are debated and worked out—takes longer than the game some years!
• our therapist meetings happen on a Saturday afternoon every couple of months…over the years, in addition to ensuring that professional matters are attended to, we’ve had baby showers, bridal showers, good-bye and welcome celebrations.
  

We’ve come a looooong way in 10 years.  It feels really good to be a part of this place. I am humbled when I hear the stories therapists tell me about the change and growth that happens in our clients.  I love hearing how clients find a sense of safety and comfort as they interact with us as therapists, and how that creates room for greater insight.  That insight allows for peace of mind, release of painful feelings, and an ability to move forward with a greater awareness of one’s own potential and abilities. I am thrilled with what happens here.  I enjoy coming to work every morning and the people I work—clients and therapists—have a lot to do with that.

This morning, Melanie, our office manager, gave me some flowers in honor of the occasion.  The card said:  "Wishing you and your clients continued growth”.  Thanx Melanie, and may it be so.

I can almost smell the fresh wood shavings (off of newly sharpened Laurentian pencial crayons) this time of year as school starts as I remember the years of loving those brand new tall pencil crayons waiting for projects to color.  The smell of fresh plastic with the carboflourocarbons (or whatever they are called) wafting off a new pencil case as I loaded and reloaded it with pencils, pens erasers, and whatever else I could fit.  Ahhh…the smells of fall.

This week has been the start of new things.  Roshonna Plett started with us at Bergen and Associates Counselling.  She is an intern from Providence College and Seminary who is doing an SCE (supervised clinical education) with us this year.  She will be seeing about 6-8 clients per week.  I meet with her for one hour per week as she asks me questions that beginning therapists have. She’s off to a great start. We are fortunate to have her work with us.  Her work allows us to offer quality therapy at a reduced rate for clients who are otherwise unable to afford it.  I always appreciate the chance it affords me as she presents scenarios, trys out ideas, and challenges me on questions that I have to force myself to think through—it sharpens me.

I was at CMU  (Canadian Mennonite University) this afternoon for a couple of hours speaking with the staff of the Outtatown Program, a really cool program that allows students a year of university adventure that challenges body, brain, heart and soul.  Students spend the fall learning in Canada at various centers and then leave in the new year for several months in South Africa or Guatemala where they experience the culture, eat the food, live with and get to know and respect the people, and do some work to help out with projects that are ongoing.  I work with them as a clinical consultant—the program stretches students to grow.  Occasionally, the student can have difficulty with  a personal issue.  Though the staff is incredibly experienced and well equipped for their tasks, sometimes a conversation with a professional counsellor is helpful and that is where I came in.  Today I told them about some basic principals of relating to students in crisis, and how to handle their own souls in the midst of a challenging job that is 24/7.  I loved seeing their enthusiasm and energy for what was going to happen in their lives and the lives of the students as they seek the face of God.

What struck me about both of these beginnings is the questions that people have around boundaries—especially important when starting something off.  People who are naturally caring need to ensure that they are helping without taking over. Wanting to do a good job, and not letting the one’s own eagerness get in the way of the client doing good work.  Anxious to help a client, and being careful to focus on a client’s issues in counselling, not taking care of her own anxiety.  That’s a tough one—we all want to do a good job and see a client really succeed—the temptation can be to overfunction for a client and push them in a good direction to ease one’s own concern for needing them to do well.  That’s not fair to the client, nor is it respectfully allowing a client to move forward at their own pace. And the practical questions about sensitively asking about self-harm, allowing a client to get comfortable even if that means allowing the conversation to jump from topic to topic at a more superficial level than we often do.  Even how to take care of oneself as a caregiver when one is exposed to difficult painful stories of those we work with—compassion fatigue is something that we need to talk about so that people can be energized for this work in the long haul.

The work of facilitating growth in another is an awesome task that requires continual seasoning and careful care of one’s own soul.  Helping others begin well gives me a chance to be reminded of basic core beliefs, theories, and approaches that has me feeling more energized to do the work I do with clients.

I may not be needing pencil crayons or a new pencil case this year, but I am ready for the challenges in a new way!

Our official sign was posted on our Smith Street location.  It looks great, and we look like we officially belong.

Rod is working downtown and the new location is working out fabulous.  Our neighbors are fun and easy to get along with.  The room is relaxing and conducive to important therapeutic conversations.  We are thrilled with how it is going.  Parking is surprisingly accessible in that part of town, and we are only a few minutes' walk from the major office buildings, affording people to be able to walk over during the day to go for counselling.

We have Joy this month at Bergen and Associates Counselling. Literally. Biringanine Joyeux Bahizire is spending the month of May with us.  For those who are Franco-challenged, he has graciously permitted to call him "Joy".  Joyeux is a student at the College St-Boniface in their business administration program.  Lisa Roch was looking for placements for their students and so we volunteered to be a learning center for him.  He gets a chance to see a little of how one office operates. While he is learning about how our office runs, we get a chance to put him to work.  We are appreciating his work, and are grateful to have him help us catch up on our bookkeeping, work on little projects that have been waiting for someone like him to give them some attention. He's been good natured and patient with us, as we get used to his accent.  Melanie has been working with him as I have been off teaching and getting our second office completed and I appreciate the direction she has provided to him. Welcome aboard, Joyeux!

I'm excited to let the world know that the couch has arrived.  And no, for the jokesters out there, it is not a chaise lounger that clients lie down on and ramble on aimlessly and endlessly about their mothers.  It's a beautiful coordinating loveseat that completes the room, making it a pleasant and cozy feeling environment for counselling.  Take a look

	This is the couch.  The cushions are coming in July as they are on back order.  The building is a beautiful building that was constructed in 1906.  The brick wall at the back is one of those beautiful "they-don't-make-em-like-that-anymore" brick walls.
This is the other side of the room.  The blue color is gorgeous and I just love the feeling in the room.
	This is the view from the doorway. The shelf above the loveseat is missing a few things to complete the room.
This is the outside of the building at 143 Smith Street at the corner of Smith and York.  There's a huge sign right on the corner of the building advertising "Dental F/X" which is in the same building

While the real work of therapy occurs in the conversation with the therapist, and working with the changes that happen inside of a person during and inbetween sessions, I do feel strongly that the environment helps set the stage.  We work to create a positive experience for clients starting at the website, continuing through the appointment booking process, first impressions on entering the office, preparing the groundwork for productive work with the counselor. We're looking forward to working with clients in this new space as well as our other offices at 2265 Pembina Highway.

Change comes in many packages and sizes. 

Many of us despise change.  Much of the work that is done with clients is discovering the part of them that will resist the very change they seek help for.

-A client who asks for help with procrastinating on homework, and on further investigation, really doesn't like the course she is taking.  If the procrastination is reduced, she'll be doing homework she doesn't want to do and isn't really interested in--why kind of fix is that!

-A couple wants help reducing the conflict in their marriage.  But as tensions decrease, they find themselves sharing more deeply and intimately--which has its own terror.  Suddenly, the conflict seems attractive--it's connecting at a safe level.

Suffice to say, resistance to change isn't just about wanting to stay stuck in an ugly place.  It's about difficulty letting go of the underlying adaptive process that has something that looks like it's not working actually serve a valuable purpose.

All this thought about change comes up because I have been learning more about how websites work, and I "took the plunge" and transferred my blog to the same web address as my website.  I really liked the look of the other blog, the usability of the features of blogspot.  But I'm working at being open to the change, and finding ways to embrace it.  I think it will be a good decision in the long run. 

How will you make your change decisions that you are facing?

Last week was Administrative Assistant's week--a chance to formally recognize all the behind the scenes work that makes our practice happen.

The work in the counselling room is the "main course" of the therapy experience. Melanie is the appetizer and dessert. Before a person is in the room with the therapist:

• s/he had to get information from the website--Melanie updates it.
• s/he has to call and find out information--Melanie answers the phone
• s/he has to provide information so the therapist can prepare for the client--Melanie captures the information
• a new client needs to be welcomed--Melanie is right there.
  
• s/he may want to change an appointment or be reminded of the time--Melanie does that too
• the therapists need copies of things, a supply of books to provide to clients--Melanie does this
• then I need help with bookkeeping, connecting with suppliers, preparations for the new office--Melanie, again

If you've got the impression that she makes it all possible, you're right. And she does it with a smile. It's fun to come to work because she welcomes us as we come in the door. She is a calming soothing presence on the phone, and provides good information, returns your calls, and looks for the answers and gets back to you if you stump her with a question (and that doesn't happen often). She lets us think that she likes us--and that's a good feeling--and I think she really does, too. Melanie is a gift to Bergen and Associates and the people we serve. If you gather that we are a little fond of her, you're more than a little correct.

I treated her to a special afternoon last week. It was fun to spoil her and remind her of how we value her.

I remember hearing someone say a long time ago that encouragement and appreciation are fuel to a person's soul.

Fuel up someone today!

Earth Day is a reminder to all of us to stop and realize that we are consuming the world's resources and spitting out garbage much faster than the earth can sustain. We are all in trouble, and it's getting worse fast.

I think we are a fairly earth-friendly business. Talking creates no pollution, in fact, it slows people down, helps husbands and wives connect in a low-tech, high-touch sort of way. Good old fashioned human connection--laughing, enjoying each other's company, going for a walk is "green". People who are centered and grounded are able to make wise decisions thoughtfully with discussion--as opposed to impulse decisions which piles up the "stuff" (and racks up the credit card) as an ineffective means to fill the emptiness or calm the restlessness inside. Consumption goes down as people are satisfied with who they are and are calmly able to make choices that feel good, rather than be compelled to consume, rat-race, and spin around in eco- and soul-destroying ways.

So, on this Earth Day, turn off the TV, don't drive to the video store, shut the computer, and connect, face-to-face, in a meaningful way. Enjoy life, don't consume it. Relish the moment, rather than fritter it away.

At Bergen and Associates, we try to be earth-conscious in all sorts of ways. One of the side effects of people becoming more connected with themselves and their partners, is becoming more connected and aware of our earth.

We also put our earth consciousness into action.Our clients often like to drink some water before or during the session--it's always nice to have something to hold or fiddle with when the situation is a little nervewracking--and we use these compostable cups from Eco-Products. They are a corn cup product that look and feel like plastic cups, but will compost in 8 weeks--EIGHT WEEKS!! I won't lie--they aren't cheap.

But our earth is worth it.

I love spring. It is my favoritest time of year, without a doubt. Spring is a time of new beginnings, and "firsts"...let me tell you about some.

This last week, Jennifer Heinrichs officially began providing therapy on our team. We are thrilled to have her. She comes to us from the Aurora Center, and is very highly regarded there. She will be working out of our Pembina location...starting slowly as she finishes up a few things, and then will be ramping up in a few months. She works effectively with individuals, couples and families. Those who have worked with her say she is exceptional at connecting with people, and really effective at helping clients engage with her and with the work they want to do. We're thrilled to have her on board.

Then, today I was at our new Smith Street location, getting it ready. The office, as you can see in the "before " picture to the left, was painted in a vibrant tangerine red, which while beautifully vibrant in some settings, just didn't seem conducive to therapy. The interior designersuggested a soft beige go on that wall. To say I was "concerned" about painting a light color on top of that red was understated. But the good people at Benjamin Moore put out this paint which is guaranteed to cover anything with 2 coats. The picture on the right is the "after picture" just after the first coat. Amazing coverage!! The furniture needs to be put in place, and the pictures and shelving need to be hung, but it's already looking great. The place has this urban warehouse feel to it--the far wall is good old fashioned solid brick--that feels relaxed and sophisticated all at the same time. We are going to be ready for the beginning of May, right on schedule!


After painting, I came home, realizing that despite the rain, I had better do something about the yard...I was thrilled to find the trees budding, and after the layers of leaves were raked up in the front garden, there were little tiny shoots pushing up from the ground. The barely-but-definitely-there shoots were SO exciting to see. One of my favorite sights of all time, really.




Other firsts too--first baseball throwing session (we won't talk about that too much--I'm a funny picture in trying not to close my eyes while I'm catching it--makes for fairly ineffective ball catching) and the first barbecue of the season. But mostly, the buds and shoots caught my eye. Our logo, which you see on our website is a seed growing from the mud and dirt...a metaphor for how painful and difficult relationships/ experiences provide opportunities for growth.

I'm exited about this next season...as the earth comes alive in newness and freshness. It invigorates me to see the buds--the potential of life just waiting to happen. I'm excited about the next months at Bergen and Associates--as the potential of new therapists and a new location gives us greater potential to help people see the possibilities of new life for themselves.