Topic: Living Well

Today I played hooky.

I didn't go into the office today.  I did a couple of hours of work at home, but mostly, I played.

It was fun.  Fun.  I had a chance to be silly today, to laugh, to enjoy family, to sit in the quiet and feel the sun on my face.  To be doing nothing and to enjoy it, without pressure that I should get to the next task.

Sometimes too much of a good thing is too much.

There is much in my life is good.  I love my work, both at the counselling office and at the university.  No complaints about all the neat people I get to talk with, the collaboration I have with colleagues and clients.  Work is not a chore.

I love my family too.  We have great times, and I enjoy helping them be successful.

It's just that there isn't a lot of time that isn't accounted for.  It's always racing to finish one thing to get onto the next.  When I can do two things at once, I do.

But today, me and mine checked out of life for the day.  I went for tea with a good friend and we laughed and enjoyed each other's company.  I heard about her life and she mine.  Watched some Olympics.  Went for brunch...strawberries and chocolate hazelnut spread in a crepe at Cora's was a lovely decadence.  We tried to set new records for successful creamer flipping...I think I've done it 8 times before, and the record was only 5 today, but not from lack of effort.  (I never got above 2 today).

Then we went skating on the river at the Forks.  The sun was out, the ice was crisp and hard, and the skating divine.  People were in a good mood.  We tried out just about every warm up shack on the river (and admired them) to see what it felt like.  Sometimes we skated together, other times I was alone.  Time to contemplate, breath, enjoy.  We giggled at the one shack at the end of the trail.  It was a three walled shack...one of the walls had a door on it...locked.  What is the purpose of a locked door on a shack that has one wall open?

Checked out the ice path, the snowboarders, and I sat in the sun while the others checked out the skate park.  I wasn't doing anything, and was enjoying not doing anything...not feeling a pressure to be finding something to do.  There's something about stopping, finding a quiet time in a busy season and enjoying each other.

Capped off the afternoon with a familiar treat remembered from the summertime...deep fried Mars bars.  Yum.

In the busy-ness of life this winter, as full as it is of good things, I will remember today as a large deposit in the bank account of family mental health.  Ahhh....feelin' good.

I'll be charged up and ready to attack the regular schedule with vigor.  Sometimes until we make a point of it, we forget how valuable recharging is.

In the midst of a busy day, with food to cook, lessons to take, games to watch, parties to prepare for, sidewalks to clean, houses to tidy, life is full and hectic.  But when the snow is right, and the spirit hits, you just gotta take advantage of the moment, and do what you don't have time for:



We didn't have time for this today.  But years from now, we won't remember that the dishes didn't get done.  We might remember this guy! Tho the snowball in the back of my head when I wasn't looking was completely unnecessary! :)

Steal a moment of joy in your life today.

...now I'm back to get a little less behind on my dish washing!

Wise words can come from unexpected places--and then be unexpectedly valuable.

I was at a memorial service on Saturday... the second of January…a time when we are all thinking about new starts and fresh, more effective ways of doing things. It was ironic to attend a memorial service—a celebration of a life just ended—to be reminded about how to move forward, but that is just what happened.

During the service, L.’s brother-in-law told us about her life. After he told us about the family she left behind, the contributions she made to family, friends and those with whom she worked (which were significant), he closed with an email she had sent to family and friends a while ago. L had been fighting cancer for some time and she said:

Tonight I was over at a friend's house whose balcony overlooks the river. It was beautiful. She had a friend there I have meet before. She has had serious health issues as well so it was nice to talk for a while.

I realized an issue that people sometimes ask me is "what have you learnt or what are you learning about this experience in your life?" There are many things. A few of them are:

- The first thing is to give up the illusion I have that "I" am in control of my life and trust God to control and work out everything that happens to me. Remember he will not let you be tested beyond what you can handle.

- The second thing has more to do with priorities. "Don't sweat the small stuff"--money, material things, petty arguments. The things for me to focus on are "the big stuff"- my relationship with God, my relationships with family & friends (without either of these 3 relationships I would not have the strength to do this), my purpose in life, my healing either here or in heaven, and the many people who come in and out of my life.

- I have also learned that each day is a precious gift and we should be thankful we have them.

In the past I have had broken relationships with people and now that I am sick I realize how important these people would have been for recovery. I thank God daily that he continues to provide new/old friends when I need them the most.

Another thing I have learned and nobody who knows me will be surprised at this--a sense of humor goes a long way to make a bad situation a little more bearable. So yes I am still laughing which strengthens me and makes me more optimistic in some ways….

Thank-you all for the little and big ways you are affecting my life. You are all very special to me as I continue my journey.

Take care, L

I remember the writer, Robert Fulghum said in one of his books that he found it valuable to visit the site where he would be buried some day…it was a chance to take stock of his life, remember what was important, remember that his lifetime was finite. Being aware of these motivated him to make meaningful choices. When he left his gravesite, he found himself better able to live a fuller and more meaningful life

So it was a personal treat for me to hear L’s words…someone who was aware her days were numbered, and could remind those of us still here of what was seen as important to her given this valuable view that she had. She gave me a check-in similar to what Robert Fulghum's, through which I can start 2010 in a way that has the reality of the end give cause to correct my priorities now.

Thanx, L, for your wisdom and for what you gave to so many in you life. Thanx for the way you made relationships with friends and family a priority, and for the richness that gave to the people in your life.

Time is precious.  Children are precious.  Grab the moments and love your kids.

This time of year has me with more unstructured time than usual. …time to spend playing games, or in outdoor activities with family. Love that. And more time to watch a movie. Mamma Mia has become a favorite of mine. The beautiful scenes of Greece capture me with it’s bluest of blue waters, and the energy of the music and dancing is captivating.

There is one moment in the movie that stops me in my tracks, and my eyes well up with tears, no matter how often I watch it. A mother helps her daughter prepare to be a bride, and she uses the time to reflect on how quickly the time went.

 

I have to admit that I’m not tearing up for the characters in Mamma Mia…but pondering how quickly the people in my family are growing and changing. This video has me take stock of how quickly time is passing, and has me pause to both celebrate all the joy, and mourn the wonderful stages of life that have passed, never to return.

The lines that stick with me the most are:

 This song is a trigger for me to remember to be present in the moment. To remember that, 20 years from now, the state of my kitchen, or the pile of boots and shoes at the back landing, or whether the pizza was homebaked or freezer section fare won’t matter…what will matter is the time I spent with the people I care about. Being with them, enjoying the simple pleasures of life. I want to capture mental images of laughter, patience, endurance, triumph. I want to be there for the ones I love through the thick and thin, helping them negotiate the challenges of the growing years in ways that has them feel powerful…and powerfully supported.

I want to choose to go sledding even when I am tired…I won’t remember flopping on the couch to watch TV years from now, but we might remember landing on top of each other at the bottom of the hill when we think about our family in future years’ first big snowfall.

I would like to not only have “quality time” with my loved ones, but “quantity time” too…sometimes it takes hours together to get to the meaningful conversation. For me, right now, that means logging in the time in the car driving…some of the best conversations happen in the car. I will always treasure those.

I’m hoping that years from now, as that song goes through my head, I can feel that I didn’t let time slip through my fingers…that I grabbed it and squeezed the moment, being fully present on being with my loved ones, capturing the opportunities to meaningfully connect.

Time passes, certainly, but hopefully doesn’t slip through my fingers, but is cherished and valued.

The days are short, and the long nights are dark and cold…a time when it is important to be vigilant about things that are in contrast to the dreariness of life. These are a few of my favorite things that  have brought brightness to my days:

• Chai tea…something about the boiling of the water, getting the milk out, pulling the mug down out of the cupboard, holding the warm cup in my hands…the familiar ritual of making tea is comforting and reassuring in a day that will hold unforeseen questions and conversation that will be intense.
• Things that make me laugh…I love this picture emailed to me from a friend…after I read the caption at the bottom.
• 
  

“Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations.  The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days.  I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever.  Great stories.  But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy).  By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that.  My yard couldn’t take it either.  I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”

• People playing as families--I was running by the river yesterday and there was a family out on the river…some space had already been cleared off and the children were playing, skating around. A grownup was shoveling the space bigger…it was magical watching them through the snow covered trees, it was a picture-postcard-perfect scene.
• Watching families love each other…saw photos of a weekend getaway a friend of mine and her daughter took on facebook. They posted a pile of photos of a weekend getaway to the ocean (living in California affords them opportunities most of us only dream of). They took pictures of haiku poems they wrote together in the sand, they experimented with taking photos of their silouettes, other pictures leaping in the air with the ocean in the background.  It seemed a rich time of reconnecting with the return of the daughter after a semester away at school—silliness, laughter, contemplation, sweet time with each other. Pictures clearly show a wonderful time.  Their creation of a heart:
• 
• I was in the center court of Polo Park mall the other day and there was a family of four children…wearing bright red T-shirts that were Seussish—the oldest one had “Thing 1” on his shirt, the next “Thing 2” and so on—VERY cute. They were arranged for a picture with Santa. “Thing 4”, the littlest, was an adorable girl of about 3 who was clearly terrified of this rotund hairy creature dressed in red. Mom pulled her aside and spoke gently into her ear for a moment..and the child, still clearly very frightened, sat on Santa’s footstool—holding her mother’s hand, the mom who was straining to be out of the picture but sustaining contact with her daughter. I loved that picture of the child working hard to stay in a difficult situation, being supported and connected enough with her mother to tolerate the time it took for the photo. Mom was there for her, supporting and encouraging her, helping her to risk trying something new. It was a beautiful moment of maternal support.
• The section in the Free Press:  Random Acts of Kindness…every Saturday. In a world that has a paper full of tragedy, scandals, crime…it’s heartwarming to see that meaningful good is being done…and  there are some that take the time to write in to let us know about it.  One sample:

• Last month during our unusual warm November spell, I happened to stop at a bank on Pembina Highway to do a transaction.

  Upon pulling up to the bank, I noticed a man sitting on a bench near the bank's entrance. It was about 8:30 p.m. and quite dark outside, but the temperature was still quite pleasant. I could see his profile in the glow of the streetlight. He was unkempt and his clothes were dirty. I realized that I had seen him before, walking around this end of town during the last few months. He is often wearing a big army parka and carrying a bundle of his possessions.

  I finished my bank business and got into my vehicle. I noticed a car pulling up beside me with a woman and a teenage girl inside. The girl got out of the car carrying a Dairy Queen blizzard. She slowly walked up to the man, said something to him and handed him the blizzard. He seemed to say something back to her to which she nodded and then she left.

  I figured the woman and the girl had perhaps come to the bank earlier, seen the destitute man and decided to do something special for him. It was just heartwarming to see this kind gesture initiated by these two individuals.

  I witnessed a great lesson that there are many caring people left in this world.

  -- Paul Bilodeau

• My heatable rice bag…An early Christmas gift handsewn with love by my mom. It’s rare that I am comfortably warm in winter. It’s cold outside, and heading out in the mornings for work is something that is easier to do with a warm bundle of goodness…I hold it in my lap and take turns warming my hands while I drive. At night, it finds itself at the bottom of my bed several minutes before I crawl in…the prewarmed sheets make falling asleep infinitely easier.

• I was out this evening skating on an outdoor rink at the local community club under the lights.  I have to admit that I wasn't much looking forward to it...I'm not on skates enough to be confident, and outdoor skating is...well...it's outdoors.  But the night was beautiful, I had my warm rice bag in my sweatshirt pocket (of course)--and It was incredible.  I remember what it was like to be on the ice as a kid.  In fact, I was told I skate like a toddler...wide base, bent knees and arms out.  It was fun...pure fun.  I had forgotten what it is like to be a kid.  Today I was reminded.  And it was good.

  
  

Life isn't just about fun--I get that.  Life can be difficult and challenging.  It has it's moments.  But moments can bring sparks of joy and remind us of what makes life worth living.  No, not just worth living, but celebrating jubilantly.  Watching beauty in families, in nature, in fun--they are stored as memories inside of me.

 

In the Christian church, the four weeks preceding Christmas is a time called "Advent"--the church says it is a time of preparing heart for Christ's arrival at Christmas.  For most, it is a frenetic time of shopping, parties, decorating and brainstorming about what to get the person "that has everything".

The Meeting Place is a pretty cool downtown church in Winnipeg, that is promoting an idea called "The Advent Conspiracy"

Advent Conspiracy '09 (TMP Promo) from TMP Vids on Vimeo.

You don't have to be a Jesus believer to see how the machine of consumerism has hijacked this season.  I like the ideas of focusing back on relationships and connection, with family, and with others in this world that go without.  Connecting with those close to us is important--my life's work is to help people connect more effectively with those they long to be close to, and to create an ability to be a safe and comfortable place for themselves and others to be around.

Connecting with others whom we don't know but who are a part of our local community--well that's important too. The grasp of fresh and safe drinking water for all the world is so within reach when it is compared to the nation's annual Christmas shopping budget.

This Christmas, my family will have our annual "Christmas stocking extravaganza experience"...a long title for an annual event that involves an evening of hanging out together doing one fun thing after another--a decision we made years ago to focus on time together instead of "stuff".  We will also be contributing to the possibility of fresh drinking water for some distant cousins in the global family, for whom a fresh cold glass of H2O is a gift that gives life.

What will you do in your own private conspiracy to pour lifegiving water into your relationships?  Might it even include pouring lifegiving water into someone else's cup?

It's too easy to forget the positives when the stress and challenge of the day are so present.  When discouraged and frustrated, it's time to shift the focus and see the rewards in balance.

Blog readers will suffer the effects of "workshop-itis" that I have. You know what I mean...someone goes to a workshop, and suddenly all they can talk about is what they learned at the workshop, like all other previous learning and work pales in comparison to this "brand new stuff" (which is often just a fresh way of repeating well known ideas) I make no apologies--I've got it.

John Norcross, a well known and respected psychologist, who provided a day long workshop to therapist-types last week, presented 12 evidence based strategies that have been proven to be effective for therapists.  As he wryly pointed out, therapists are people too, and so what works for therapists, works for others.

Research suggests that when people refocus their vision on the rewards of a task or role, rather than mainly focusing on the difficulties or problems, that a person's energy changes.  Reminding oneself of what is life-giving,thrilling, enjoyable, inspiring, super-neat, uplifting, rejuvenating, exciting, pleasant, vital, meaningful, profound, uber-cool, life-sustaining changes us.  We get more energy, find the joy, are inspired, and approach the task as changed people.  People who are up for the task, who can do it with vigor, who are creative and innovative, who produce better work, and are able to see the value of the task.

A few ideas to get you started from the afternoon's discussion:

• Re-experience the privileges:  Dr. Norcross went around to the 15 or so tables in the room, and had people call out what the privileges of being a therapist are.  In less than 2 minutes, we were reminded of 15 different reasons why it is awesome to be a therapist.  Smiles increased immediately.
• Notice the life rewards:  What are the rewards for what we do?  How incredible it is to know that we help people shift their lives in positive directions!  It's cool work to be involved in people's lives at important crossroads.  We grow as people as clients talk about what challenges them--we are also challenged.
• Feel the career/role satisfaction:  What do you find satisfying in what you do?  What did you find satisfying when you first started?
• Practice the mental set:  Dr. Norcross said that he starts out the day playing a mental video in his mind of clients he has worked with that he has found rewarding to work with, and had successful outcomes. He "rolls through" his "videotape" in his imagination in a soothing and memorable order to start his day of therapy...joking that he almost charges into the waiting room to get his first client of the day, eager to see what the day holds.
• Gratitude attitude:  It's easy to forget how much we have to be grateful for.  When we work from a position of gratitude, rather than entitlement, our spirit lifts.

I am reminded of a conversation I had recently with an acquaintance.  She said she had asked her friend to say something about her husband...and the friend had expounded on her incredible guy, extolling the support she received from him, the way he helped her, the fun they had together, the nice times of closeness they enjoyed.  When she spoke with that friend a week or two later, the friend talked about how hearing herself speak so positively about her own husband had her realize how she had been spending too much time grumping, sniping, complaining...hearing herself respond out of her true feelings for her husband to another was a was a way she refocused on the rewards. She found herself relating to him with greater warmth and enjoyed him more, merely after listening to her own heart.

Spend some time thinking about the rewards in the challenging areas of your life today--as a spouse, a student, a parent, an employee, a friend.  Keep those in focus as you go about your day.

I've got tulips on my brain from my last post.  So, imagine my surprise as I was catching up on some podcasts, I heard a delightful story that caught my ear about the bulbs.  Stewart McLean of the Vinyl Cafe was giving out his annual "Arthur" awards.  The Arthur awards don't have any monetary value, though apparently they can get you into a free Vinyl Cafe concert (which seems like a sweet deal).  The Arthurs are a public way for Canadians to hear about the small, ordinary, unimportant things that neighbors and friends help each other.  The small unimportant things are important, Stewart says. I agree.

Judy of Godrich, Ontario nominated her neighbor Wendy for her kindness.  Judy had just torn up her front lawn and planted a few hostas and other greenery in fall 2008, but was nowhere near done, when her healthy brother died very suddenly.  The garden was forgotten as she plunged into grieving.  Six months later, as spring came, she was delighted to find tulips spring up all over the yard.  She counted them...tulips from 57 bulbs...the same age as her brother. She found out on her birthday where the tulips came from when Wendy's card said:  "Enjoy the tulips and your brother's memory for years to come".   Wendy says that she knows what it is like to have a close family member die, and understands how important the little things are in remembering. Judy says:

Whenever you see tulips in the spring, it’s such a sign of hope…it was exciting to watch them come up day by day…I was enjoying them even not knowing where they came from…when I got the card I cried…it was a story [my brother] would have loved.

The stories went on.  Stories of ordinary folks making a difference in the lives of others, "because it was the right thing to do" says Johnathon. Johnathon is a butcher who took an employee into his 2 bedroom apartment with his wife and 2 preschoolers, after the employee was imprisoned.  Rather than firing him, he convinced the police to let him brought the fellow home, saying:

More than anything, he needs to know the people around him actually cared about him, and he wasn’t just someone who worked for me, but someone we actually cared about.  I think that was someone new to him in his in his life….It worked out great…it wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do.  I’ve had people help me out in tough times in my life, and it comes around.  I didn’t think it was anything to win an award over.  It was just the right thing to do…he’s gone from a kid to a man.

Stewart then talked to Carmel, a 19 year old clearly not used to talking on the radio.  The giggly university student, with a wisdom that belied her years, talked about how she led a project that had elaborate gift packages prepared for the homeless on Vancouver's East Side last Christmas.  Others got involved, church groups baked, choirs had fundraisers and so on.  When Stewart McLean asked her why she did this, she related her experiences being friends with classmates in the area and said: 

I feel that with what I’ve been given in my life and what I’ve learned, I have a responsibility to give that back, and more than that I really do want to do as much as I can because I’ve been given the tools in my life so far to give something back.  I know that if I was there [homeless], they would find some way of helping me and giving me a hand.  So heck, I’ll do it in a turn. Absolutely.  Absolutely.

So, I'd like to give out my own Arthurs here to a smattering of people who come immediately to mind:

• the garden fairies who raked the leaves last fall in my yard.  Somebody knew I couldn't do it and you did it for me. 
  
• the recycling fairy (actually, he was a guy pulling a hauling trailer that was half full of orange bags already) who was driving around the neighborhood picking up bags of leaves and talking them to the recycling depot for those of us who didn't have a way to get them there.  We saw him from the window, stopping at each house that had orange bags.
  
• Frank, at Midas...he's found ways to give me parts on sale, knock down labor costs in an effort to get the costs of a car repair down to something manageable during years when the real cost was unmanageable. He is compassion in greasy coveralls.
  
• last week, just prior to delivering an exam at the school, the course coordinator and I grabbed a quick tea from the university cafeteria.  I followed her as I went to go pay for my tea, and the cafe worker said: It's been paid for.  Thanks, M.  It was a thoughtful treat on a busy day in a busy week.
• yesterday, I spent some time with a friend who is struggling and not doing well.  She made a point of seeking me out later and thanking me for something very specific that had happened during our time together that was meaningful for her. The way she said it, brought tears to my eyes because of how she affirmed me.  Did she know, even amongst her pain and difficulties, how much her words meant to me?

I could go on and on.

Many of the little things we do for others don't even get a "thank you", much less get an "Arthur", aknowledging their significance on national radio.  But these little things make a tough day do-able, inspire people to "pay it forward" with acts of kindness towards others.  They put bright spots in people's lives, putting a sparkle in the eye, some color to the cheeks, some spring in one's step.

Save the below link for a lousy day when you need a smile.  Sometime when you've lost your zing, feel like the world is hopeless, and you feel like giving up, when it all seems like it's not worth it, listen to the Arthur awards show:
http://podcast.cbc.ca/mp3/vinylcafe_20091010_20984.mp3

At the end of this broadcast, Stewart tells Carmel that he is "giving her the microphone" and invites her to say anything she wants.  She says:

Everybody has been given something.  And if you can find what that is, and if you can find the venue to channel that and to give that back…I mean, all you need to do is just really walk out your front door, and you’ll find somebody that might need what you have. I would just encourage people to do that--you can take that risk.  It will be amazing what happens after that…thanx for the microphone.  (giggle) I’ve been wanting to say that forever!!

The small unimportant things are, indeed, the important things. 

The ordinary, when seen freshly, can be absurd.  I found myself laughing out loud watching this video which reminded me to put things into perspective, to not sweat the small stuff, to appreciate all that I have.  At the end of a busy week, it was great to laugh heartily.
How easy it is for a person to focus on that which isn't working well, is missing, lacking, or the ways in which it is a disappointment.  This was a refreshing reminder to remember that part of life which is amazing, surprising, delightful and enjoyable...that even in the midst of truly difficult times, we live in a world which has things that can be admired and appreciated.

I’ve been reading The Year of Living Biblically, by A.J. Jacobs for a book club that I will be attending.  Though I’m not yet finished the book (and I’ve only got until Wednesday, so I’d better get reading), I’ve been struck by the sorts of ways A.J. has found the experience enriching.  Some of the experiences he has found meaningful have surprised him in ways that he wouldn’t have predicted. As a counsellor, I was intrigued by the benefit he gained as he slowed down to notice his responses as he exposed himself to new experiences, and how those observations were subtle, significant, sometimes silly and yet profound. I recognize that this book has been out for a while, and that for many it is old news...I had been intrigued by it, but had never gotten around to it.  Thus the deadline for a book club was a helpful prompt to get me to do something I really wanted to do...not unlike how trying to obey some obscure biblical law prompted Jacobs to be able to live a life that he wanted to.

A.J. Jacobs is a Jewish agonistic, and as he sets out to follow as many of the directives found in the Hebrew and Christian Scripture, his cynicism is challenged in unexpected ways:

On praying (which, as you might imagine, is a challenge for an agnostic!)—I no longer dread prayer.  And sometimes I’m even like it….The prayers are helpful.  They remind me that the food didn’t spontaneously generate in my fridge.  They make me feel more connected, more grateful, more grounded, more aware of my place in this complicated hummus cycle.  They remind me to taste the hummus instead of shoveling it into my  maw like it’s a nutrition pill.  And they remind me that I’m lucky to have food at all.  Basically, they help me get outside of my self-obsessed cranium.  I’m not sure this is what the Bible intended, but it feels like a step forward. (p. 94-96)

On wearing white (as commanded in Ecclesiastes 9:8): …it’s a bizzare sensation walking around the Upper West Side [of New York] in white garments…my regular wardrobe is made up mostly of bleak colors:  blacks, browns, a daring splash of navy blue.  It seems to suit the city’s soot and cynicism.  Dark Clothes for a dark city….But the thing is, I’m enjoying it.  My white wardrobe makes me feel lighter, more spiritual.  Happier.  It’s further proof of a major theme of this year:  The outer affects the inner.  Behavior shapes your psyche as much as the other way around.  Clothes make the man….I should have been wearing all white from day one, but it was one of those rules I felt I had to build up to.  Now that I’m doing, I don’t want to stop. (p. 123)

On sacrifice: A.J. participates in the kaparot ritual, a Jewish tradition practiced by some in which chickens are purchased by the participant, and the chicken is carried by the person to the slaughterer to be killed (with the chicken then packaged and given to the needy) “I’m elbowed out of the way.  I’m still in my city-boy stupor:  My chicken was alive; now, three knife strokes later, it’s dead.  Epstein is saying something, but I can’t really focus.  I’m too dazed.  As I said, I’ve started to look at life differently.  When you’re thanking God for every little joy—every meal, every time you wake up, every time you take a sip of water—you can’t help but be more thankful for life itself, for the unlikely and miraculous fact that you exist at all.” (p. 165)

Repeatedly, the author begins to  follow a Biblical law as part of this interesting project.  He does so in order to embrace the experience and is often surprised by the hidden value in experiencing the law.  Some (like the chicken sacrifice) he knows he won’t repeat, but the experience has him be more mindful of the moment through prayer, through listening and observing others that he would otherwise ignore, by trying strategies and ways of thinking—being honest, generous and so on—that he could otherwise rationalize avoid.  The mindfulness has him appreciating life, feeling more connected, and discovering value in timeless traditions which he had previously dismissed.

I like the playfulness of the book as he tries to follow a variety of Biblical commandments, admits when he has trouble being open to it, and allowing himself to be changed.  The willingness to try new behaviors and learn from the experience is one which I particularly honor, being in the counselling business.  He discovers himself growing: “I guess it’s called mindfulness.  Or being in the moment, or making the mundane sacred.  Whatever it is, I’m doing it more.  Like the ridiculously extended thank you list for my hummus, the fruit taboo made me more aware of the whole cherry process, the seed, the soil, the five years of watering and waiting.  That’s the paradox:  I thought religion would make me live with my head in the clouds, but as often as not, it grounds me in this world.” (p. 172)

Mr.Jacobs…you mention that you google yourself sometimes to find out when people write about you on the net.  If you see this…thanx for writing your book.  I’m thinking a lot about how open I am to age old wisdom, to how aware I am of all the wonder around me, to the value of being thankful and more.It's prompting me to be more mindful. Good food for thought!  Now I’m off to finish the book.