
February 18th, 2010 // By Carolyn
January 23rd, 2010 // By Carolyn



January 4th, 2010 // By Carolyn
During the service, L.’s brother-in-law told us about her life. After he told us about the family she left behind, the contributions she made to family, friends and those with whom she worked (which were significant), he closed with an email she had sent to family and friends a while ago. L had been fighting cancer for some time and she said:
Tonight I was over at a friend's house whose balcony overlooks the river. It was beautiful. She had a friend there I have meet before. She has had serious health issues as well so it was nice to talk for a while.
I realized an issue that people sometimes ask me is "what have you learnt or what are you learning about this experience in your life?" There are many things. A few of them are:
- The first thing is to give up the illusion I have that "I" am in control of my life and trust God to control and work out everything that happens to me. Remember he will not let you be tested beyond what you can handle.
- The second thing has more to do with priorities. "Don't sweat the small stuff"--money, material things, petty arguments. The things for me to focus on are "the big stuff"- my relationship with God, my relationships with family & friends (without either of these 3 relationships I would not have the strength to do this), my purpose in life, my healing either here or in heaven, and the many people who come in and out of my life.
- I have also learned that each day is a precious gift and we should be thankful we have them.
In the past I have had broken relationships with people and now that I am sick I realize how important these people would have been for recovery. I thank God daily that he continues to provide new/old friends when I need them the most.
Another thing I have learned and nobody who knows me will be surprised at this--a sense of humor goes a long way to make a bad situation a little more bearable. So yes I am still laughing which strengthens me and makes me more optimistic in some ways….
Thank-you all for the little and big ways you are affecting my life. You are all very special to me as I continue my journey.
Take care, L
I remember the writer, Robert Fulghum said in one of his books that he found it
valuable to visit the site where he would be buried some day…it was a chance to
take stock of his life, remember what was important, remember that his lifetime
was finite. Being aware of these motivated him to make meaningful choices. When he left his gravesite, he found himself better able to live a fuller and more meaningful life
So it was a personal treat for me to hear L’s words…someone who was
aware her days were numbered, and could remind those of us still here of what
was seen as important to her given this valuable view that she had. She gave me a check-in similar to what Robert Fulghum's, through which I can start 2010 in a way that has the reality of the end give cause to correct my priorities now.
Thanx, L, for your wisdom and for what you gave to so many in you life. Thanx for the way you made relationships with friends and family a priority, and for the richness that gave to the people in your life.
December 30th, 2009 // By Carolyn
There is one moment in the movie that stops me in my tracks, and my eyes well up with tears, no matter how often I watch it. A mother helps her daughter prepare to be a bride, and she uses the time to reflect on how quickly the time went.
I have to admit that I’m not tearing up for the characters in Mamma Mia…but pondering how quickly the people in my family are growing and changing. This video has me take stock of how quickly time is passing, and has me pause to both celebrate all the joy, and mourn the wonderful stages of life that have passed, never to return.
The lines that stick with me the most are:
This song is a trigger for me to remember to be present in the moment. To remember that, 20 years from now, the state of my kitchen, or the pile of boots and shoes at the back landing, or whether the pizza was homebaked or freezer section fare won’t matter…what will matter is the time I spent with the people I care about. Being with them, enjoying the simple pleasures of life. I want to capture mental images of laughter, patience, endurance, triumph. I want to be there for the ones I love through the thick and thin, helping them negotiate the challenges of the growing years in ways that has them feel powerful…and powerfully supported.
I want to choose to go sledding even when I am tired…I won’t remember flopping on the couch to watch TV years from now, but we might remember landing on top of each other at the bottom of the hill when we think about our family in future years’ first big snowfall.
I would like to not only have “quality time” with my loved ones, but “quantity time” too…sometimes it takes hours together to get to the meaningful conversation. For me, right now, that means logging in the time in the car driving…some of the best conversations happen in the car. I will always treasure those.
I’m hoping that years from now, as that song goes through my head, I can feel that I didn’t let time slip through my fingers…that I grabbed it and squeezed the moment, being fully present on being with my loved ones, capturing the opportunities to meaningfully connect.
Time passes, certainly, but hopefully doesn’t slip through my fingers, but is cherished and valued.
December 20th, 2009 // By Carolyn

“Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.
First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.
Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”

Last month during our unusual warm November spell, I happened to stop at a bank on Pembina Highway to do a transaction.
Upon pulling up to the bank, I noticed a man sitting on a bench near the bank's entrance. It was about 8:30 p.m. and quite dark outside, but the temperature was still quite pleasant. I could see his profile in the glow of the streetlight. He was unkempt and his clothes were dirty. I realized that I had seen him before, walking around this end of town during the last few months. He is often wearing a big army parka and carrying a bundle of his possessions.
I finished my bank business and got into my vehicle. I noticed a car pulling up beside me with a woman and a teenage girl inside. The girl got out of the car carrying a Dairy Queen blizzard. She slowly walked up to the man, said something to him and handed him the blizzard. He seemed to say something back to her to which she nodded and then she left.
I figured the woman and the girl had perhaps come to the bank earlier, seen the destitute man and decided to do something special for him. It was just heartwarming to see this kind gesture initiated by these two individuals.
I witnessed a great lesson that there are many caring people left in this world.
-- Paul Bilodeau
| I was out this evening skating on an outdoor rink at the local community club under the lights. I have to admit that I wasn't much looking forward to it...I'm not on skates enough to be confident, and outdoor skating is...well...it's outdoors. But the night was beautiful, I had my warm rice bag in my sweatshirt pocket (of course)--and It was incredible. I remember what it was like to be on the ice as a kid. In fact, I was told I skate like a toddler...wide base, bent knees and arms out. It was fun...pure fun. I had forgotten what it is like to be a kid. Today I was reminded. And it was good. |
November 29th, 2009 // By Carolyn
Advent Conspiracy '09 (TMP Promo) from TMP Vids on Vimeo.
November 17th, 2009 // By Carolyn
October 25th, 2009 // By Carolyn
Whenever you see tulips in the spring, it’s such a sign of hope…it was exciting to watch them come up day by day…I was enjoying them even not knowing where they came from…when I got the card I cried…it was a story [my brother] would have loved.The stories went on. Stories of ordinary folks making a difference in the lives of others, "because it was the right thing to do" says Johnathon. Johnathon is a butcher who took an employee into his 2 bedroom apartment with his wife and 2 preschoolers, after the employee was imprisoned. Rather than firing him, he convinced the police to let him brought the fellow home, saying:
More than anything, he needs to know the people around him actually cared about him, and he wasn’t just someone who worked for me, but someone we actually cared about. I think that was someone new to him in his in his life….It worked out great…it wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do. I’ve had people help me out in tough times in my life, and it comes around. I didn’t think it was anything to win an award over. It was just the right thing to do…he’s gone from a kid to a man.Stewart then talked to Carmel, a 19 year old clearly not used to talking on the radio. The giggly university student, with a wisdom that belied her years, talked about how she led a project that had elaborate gift packages prepared for the homeless on Vancouver's East Side last Christmas. Others got involved, church groups baked, choirs had fundraisers and so on. When Stewart McLean asked her why she did this, she related her experiences being friends with classmates in the area and said:
I feel that with what I’ve been given in my life and what I’ve learned, I have a responsibility to give that back, and more than that I really do want to do as much as I can because I’ve been given the tools in my life so far to give something back. I know that if I was there [homeless], they would find some way of helping me and giving me a hand. So heck, I’ll do it in a turn. Absolutely. Absolutely.So, I'd like to give out my own Arthurs here to a smattering of people who come immediately to mind:
Everybody has been given something. And if you can find what that is, and if you can find the venue to channel that and to give that back…I mean, all you need to do is just really walk out your front door, and you’ll find somebody that might need what you have. I would just encourage people to do that--you can take that risk. It will be amazing what happens after that…thanx for the microphone. (giggle) I’ve been wanting to say that forever!!The small unimportant things are, indeed, the important things.
October 17th, 2009 // By Carolyn
October 4th, 2009 // By Carolyn
| I’ve been reading The Year of Living Biblically, by A.J. Jacobs
for a book club that I will be attending. Though I’m not yet finished
the book (and I’ve only got until Wednesday, so I’d better get
reading), I’ve been struck by the sorts of ways A.J. has found the
experience enriching. Some of the experiences he has found meaningful
have surprised him in ways that he wouldn’t have predicted. As a
counsellor, I was intrigued by the benefit he gained as he slowed down
to notice his responses as he exposed himself to new experiences, and
how those observations were subtle, significant, sometimes silly and
yet profound. I recognize that this book has been out for a while, and that for many it is old news...I had been intrigued by it, but had never gotten around to it. Thus the deadline for a book club was a helpful prompt to get me to do something I really wanted to do...not unlike how trying to obey some obscure biblical law prompted Jacobs to be able to live a life that he wanted to. |
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